Fab Fridays: Self Esteem and Hobbies - Love yourself!

Self Esteem is defined as feeling pride in yourself. And how does one feel proud? Usually it is by feeling pleasure for an achievement or skill. I personally can relate to this feeling of pride when dancing on stage, and now more than ever, I feel proud when watching my students grow in the dance studio or perform on stage.  Self esteem is a delicate attribute to grow in every child, adult and living being. As it can translate over into relationships, jobs, school, everything! Why not help build your self esteem by nurturing a new or perhaps old hobby today - such as dance!

Below are the ways I have implemented nurturing self-esteem for each student in my classes:

• Positive encouragement!!! I have learned that positive encouragement can do much more than negative reinforcement. For instance constantly telling a student what they are doing incorrectly, I have learned that encouraging their strengths helps them better focus on improving their weaknesses. How does an instructor do this? For one, if the student is a new student, they are usually going to feel overwhelmed and intimidated by the class and other students- especially if this is their first dance class ever. It is extremely important for the instructor to be more supportive of the child and their ability - especially in the first few sessions. This will help the instructor earn the student's trust and even more - it will help the student feel accepted. Once this trust and support has been established, now we must congratulate each little win by the student and help them constantly improve. Helpful phrases like this one can make all the difference: 'Wow, you are extending your legs extremely well. Now imagine how great your leg extension would be if you practiced at home'.
• Look Up!!!! I can't tell you enough how many times students tend to look at the floor instead of eye level. It is my personal goal in each class to help each student look straight at themselves in the mirror or straight at me at all times. Looking up is a simple way to help each student feel more confident and they usually do it when they support themselves as a person and feel supported by everyone else in the room...which leads me to the next point.
• Positive Environment!! There are a lot of evils in the world that can easily find it's way in the classroom, such as judgement, comparison, gossip, conceit, etc. I am extremely sensitive to such behavior and never let such things slide. I believe it is each instructor's responsibility to teach not only through their expertise but also through their character. How can a dancer grow individually, and explore all their inner talents without any inhibitions - if they are being judged or criticized. We must create a positive environment. How? Well for one, all my line leaders in the kids' classes give each other high five when doing technique across the floor. This helps them learn that great leaders must always support their team. Another idea, perform for each other, have each person watching give the performers at least one compliment. :)

How do you help people around you build their self esteem? Let's try to compliment at least one person today because higher self esteem in people around us will help us build a better world - one by one! Make a difference. 

Love yourself and help spread more Love in the world that we live in.

Life Changing Moment #3:Becoming Fearless

It took burning out to realize that I was living a fearful life.

I was living a picture perfect life programmed by society: Go to school, listen to your parents, seek approval, meet expectations, get A's, receive recognition,  go to college, graduate, get a job, support yourself, get married, have kids... you know the spiel. I don't mean to dismiss any of the above. I just didn't like the fact that I didn't question this programmed behavior and in so never found myself and my own compass. I faked myself into a false sense of fulfillment.

However, due to my wonderful family, friends, and teachers, I acquired an AWESOME skill - critical thinking. I challenged ideas, I thought about everything - always. But I never had the guts to do anything about it until this 'Making point' in my life. I would have loved to major in dance, yet never did it because it was not looked highly upon and I felt I had something to prove because people saw me as an “intelligent” person. I graduated with an Engineering degree, while dancing in as many college teams and clubs as I could. I had great work offers – engineering related - straight out of college and so, off I went into a high achieving career.

I remember bringing up the idea to my parents about taking a break to pursue dance. I could sense their hesitation and fear. My dad frankly asked me why would I risk it when I had a great job and salary. I followed his advice for about three years. But soon enough I realized how determined I was, so I did it.

Below is a picture of me in my element with the 

NDM troupe at a Vitamin Water commercial shoot! 

The truth is - I was lucky. I was blessed to be at a point where I had saved some money. I learned the power of visualizing your goals, so that I had the strength to stop making decisions solely by fear. I was not fulfilled at my job, I knew the amount of money I needed to live, I knew that any materialistic thing will never make me as happy as having the TIME to do what I want and spend time with the people I love. I knew what I believed in, I had identified my priorities, my sources of happiness and unhappiness. Most importantly, I understood the power of action!

So off I went to an adventure in which for the first time, I chose uncertainty, insecurity and passion - I quit my job and went after my dream to dance! But I was not alone, I had the strongest tools of all – Wisdom and Faith! And I realized that it was not luck, but destiny that I had created by taking charge of my own life. Everything in my life had prepared me for this exact moment. 

Steve Jobs summarized the power of destiny, wisdom and faith best: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” 

So yes - it was about choosing to be fearless. However, there was so much more to this decision than just being fearless. Because you can't be rash and stubborn without knowing what you believe in. Next time... Knowing what you believe in.

What has living a fearful life led you to do?

Life Changing Moment #1: The Secret

One year out of college and just starting our careers, my good friend, Eve Torres, and I watched The Secret together. It was a movie from 2006 that highlighted a concept called 'the Law of Attraction'. It is a belief that there are steps that one can take to "attract" everything that one could want and need. The three steps were: believing in an outcome, thinking repeatedly about the outcome, and remaining positive about the outcome.

We were inspired by the idea of visualizing your goals and dreams into reality. At that point in our lives, we had lofty goals and a wide open future ahead of us, but actually identifying our goals was something we had not done up until then. We also loved the idea of a conscious or subconscious reminder of these goals EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, that could act as a guide in our daily pursuit of these goals.

Eve created a vision board and posted it over her bed so that she would see it every day. My goal list consisted of bullet points (that is how I like to work hahahah) and I posted the list right next to my desk - which at that point in my life as an IT consultant - was where I was almost 99% of the time!

The remarkable outcome of that little project we took on was that at the end of the year, we both had achieved most, if not all, of the goals! I was so proud and so amazed that I have created that list ever since and now take pictures of my list yearly as proof that it works!

Maybe someday I will share my list. But right now, it is very personal to me.

It was amazing to see how easy it can be to achieve your goals or better yet - your DREAMS! It took a lot of hard work, but identifying them was the first step, reminding yourself of them the next, and taking action every day in one way or another is the final step. The intangible power of the subconscious is also so overwhelming and totally incomparable. Try it out if you haven't already! IT WORKS!

What are your goals? How do you make sure that you are pursuing them?